Passing Notes
by pixii-stixii
Summary: This is a hillarious fic about Harry and his friends! The whole story is their notes that they've wirtten on these papers and when you write one one paper, It sends to the other papers ^__^ Do read on my little grasshopper. n_n
1. Chapter 1, Divination

Passing notes!  
  
[a.n :: This is about Harry and his friends all writing on these enchanted pieces of paper. Sirus passed them to Harry. If you write on one sheet of these papers. The message you write will send to all of the other papers. So now that you know what's going on, Read on! ^__^ This es un tres amusant story! Lol have fun translating that.. it's french, oui oui, buh bye!]  
  
[disclaimer :: No ma'am/sir, Miss PixiiStixii doesn't own any of these characters. They belong to Madame J.K. Rowling.]  
  
:: you might wanna know this :: Harry = H Ron = R Hermione = HR Neville = N Seamus = S  
  
  
  
// CHAPTER 1 [class :: Divination]  
  
  
  
H: Hi what are you all doing?  
  
R: what do you think.  
  
H: Reading porn?  
  
R: You're good  
  
HR: Did I want to know that?  
  
S: Porn? Where?  
  
R: I have the only one magazine.  
  
HR: Can I have it after?  
  
R: Sure.  
  
H: I want to have sex with Hermione.  
  
S: No, I do!  
  
HR: Shut up, you two.  
  
N: What about me?!  
  
S & H: SHE'S MINE!  
  
R: I'm the one dating her!  
  
H: but she likes me  
  
S: wrong, me  
  
H: me.  
  
S: me.  
  
H: me!  
  
S: me!!  
  
HR: WOULD YOU TWO SHUT IT  
  
N: ..me!  
  
H: Not a chance in hell! Me.  
  
R: Me! Bloody hell Harry!  
  
S: Me.  
  
HR: I want porn!  
  
H: I got some.  
  
HR: Ooh. Where?  
  
H: In my pants.  
  
R: No!! Mine.  
  
S: Mine!  
  
N: Ew.  
  
S: Hermione who do you like?  
  
HR: At the moment.. no one.  
  
R: WHAT?!? I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND!  
  
HR: you're point being?  
  
H: told ya she liked me.  
  
R: You all, she's mine, BACK OFF  
  
HR: Ron it's my life, not yours.  
  
R: so.  
  
H: I knew it was me.  
  
*silence*  
  
N: Hermione?  
  
HR: Yes Neville  
  
N: Have sex with me.  
  
HR: UHG I'm LEAVING! Wait.. Ron's where's your porn?  
  
R: In my pants. I'll show you. *takes off pants* Look at this porn stick.  
  
HR: Ew!!  
  
N: That was gross, Ron!  
  
H: Ron!!  
  
HR: Ron!!  
  
H: *licks Hermione*  
  
HR: Oh that tickles.  
  
R: HARRY STOP LICKING MY GIRLFRIEND  
  
H: Alright alright  
  
S: Can I?  
  
R: don't even think about it you stupid twit.  
  
S: Please?  
  
H & R: NO!  
  
HR: you all are nuts.  
  
N: what about me?  
  
HR: Nah you only asked me to have sex with you.  
  
N: good.  
  
HR: I was being sarcastic.  
  
N: I knew that..  
  
  
  
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[a.n :: wasn't that just wonderful? Lol read on!] 


	2. Chapter 2, Potions

[disclaimer :: As you know.. I do not own these characters.. J.K. Rowling does. The end, amen, r/r]  
  
  
  
// Chapter 2 [class :: potions]  
  
  
  
  
  
H: hey ron. you smell good i can smell it all the way from here. lets have sex later.  
  
R: sure!  
  
HR: sickos.  
  
N: oh.. threesome  
  
H & R: no!  
  
S: threesome with me?  
  
HR: ew.  
  
H: Hermione would you like to join?  
  
R: yeah!!  
  
D: ME ME!  
  
R: who in the hell are you?  
  
D: the wonderful-beautiful-brilliant-draco Malfoy  
  
H: Oh really?  
  
HR: You all are so weird..  
  
*silence*  
  
HR: ok, I decided. I want to lick Draco's cock.  
  
D: Good choice, Hermione. I want to lick your pussy.  
  
R: She's my girlfriend, bloody bastards!  
  
*hermione gets up and heads out of the class yelling to the teacher that she has to pee really badly*  
  
D: woah was she serious?  
  
R: If you fallow her you'll get jumped after this period  
  
H: Yeah, I'll poison you in your sleep.  
  
D: How will get to my room Harry?  
  
H: Ever heard of a chainsaw?  
  
D: oh..  
  
S: I'm still going to kill him.  
  
*Seamus runs over to Draco and starts strangling him*  
  
S: ahee ahee ahee  
  
H: Good job Seamus  
  
*silence*  
  
H: Hermione's mine  
  
R: you wish  
  
*hermione enters the room*  
  
HR: Hi guys  
  
H: I love you  
  
D: I love you more  
  
H: Draco aren't you dead?  
  
S: no I do  
  
R: I do the most would you all shut up!  
  
HR: ..It's nice to see you too  
  
H: Marry me  
  
HR: excuse me?  
  
H: haha I'm just kiddin  
  
D: what about me?  
  
H: Draco you're dead.  
  
R: Get out of this convo you bloody moron!  
  
D: Was that the wind I just read?  
  
HR: You guys are so stupid you know that?  
  
H: Hey I was only kidding!  
  
S: Yeah and I'm related to Barney's mom.  
  
H: are you really?  
  
S: Wouldn't you like to know.  
  
  
  
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	3. Chapter 3, DADA

[disclaimer :: I really do wish I owned Harry.. I would be a transfer from beauxbatons and speak with a french accent. But too bad for me, J.K. Rowling owns all the characters!]  
  
[a.n :: I hope you lurve it so far!! It's my own story and I crack up when I read it lol]  
  
// Chapter 3 [D.A.D.A.]  
  
  
  
  
  
N: eh, hulow?  
  
H: Yes Neville?  
  
N: Where's Hermione?  
  
R: She's throwing up I think.  
  
H: What're you talking about..?  
  
R: Well she seemed to look pretty sick after potions  
  
HR: Having fun in Defense against the d.a.?  
  
H: HERMIONE?  
  
HR: yes?  
  
R: WHERE ARE YOU!?  
  
S: Woah. That biesh is skipping class without us.  
  
N: oh no I hope she doesn't get cought  
  
HR: I'm going to Hogsmead.  
  
R: why?  
  
HR: Because I need butterbeer  
  
H: oh my poop, she's addicted  
  
S: I knew it  
  
HR: I'm just thirsty for something besides pumpkin juice!  
  
R: uh huh suuuure  
  
N: Will you get me some candy at Zonko's?  
  
HR: What do you think?  
  
N: Thanks!  
  
HR: Er-  
  
H: Do we need to buy you butterbeer patches Hermione?  
  
HR: Harry would you shut up  
  
H: yes ma'am  
  
HR: Oh I hope you don't mind Harry, but I kindof borrowed you're invisibility cloak  
  
H: Thanks for asking.  
  
R: Please babe, get me a chocolate frog!  
  
HR: Uh- I'll think about it  
  
S: Are there such things as butterbeer patches?  
  
N: no moron  
  
S: can it fatty  
  
N: lick my arse  
  
S: sick dude, you win  
  
HR: Hey calm down!  
  
H & R: hahahahahahaha  
  
*silence*  
  
H: Hermione?  
  
HR: do I want to know?  
  
H: probably not..  
  
HR: That's what I thought.  
  
R: Harry  
  
H: yes?  
  
R: I know where you sleep.  
  
H: oh really? me too.  
  
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	4. Chapter 4, In their Dorms

[disclaimer :: 'Arry Potter iz not mine. 'E juzt loves me tres tres beaucoup ^__^ il, et ils copains, belongs to mademoiselle J.K. Rowling]  
  
  
  
// Chapter 4 [in their dorms]  
  
  
  
R: Eh are you guys asleep?  
  
H: No.. just thinking about your girlfriend  
  
R: Go away Harry  
  
HR: Hey guys!!  
  
H: G'day Hermione ^__^  
  
R: let's have sex  
  
HR: maybe tomorrow  
  
N: Harry stop jacking off I can hear you over here  
  
H: =.=  
  
R: yeah Harry.. do it quieter next time  
  
H: be quiet goat sniffer  
  
HR: Hey stop fighting!!  
  
S: Hi, What's that rubbing noise guys?  
  
R: ask harry  
  
S: Harry what's the rubbing noise?  
  
H: WHAT'S YOUR GUYS'S PROBLEMS!?  
  
N: Ron you sniff goats?  
  
R: long story  
  
N: ohh  
  
HR: Got any porn?  
  
D: yes.  
  
H: oh great it's the dead guy again  
  
D: sniff my monkey Potter  
  
H: I think I will  
  
N: hahaha  
  
D: that wasn't funny  
  
N: I know  
  
R: Ohh Draco! DRACO oh my, Don't touch me there  
  
HR: oh dear  
  
H: I KNEW MALFOY WAS QUEER  
  
S: oh THAT was the rubbing noise!  
  
D: that's bloody sick  
  
*silence*  
  
HR: I want some butterbeer..  
  
H: SHE'S ADDICTED I TELL YOU  
  
R: o_O  
  
S: there's always butterbeer patches  
  
HR: that's it I'm going to bed  
  
*silence*  
  
HR: Anyone got any porn?  
  
R: come over here and I'll show it to you  
  
H: go to sleep Ron  
  
S: she loves me  
  
HR: you know it Seamus  
  
S: really?  
  
HR: no  
  
S: oh  
  
*silence*  
  
H: hahahaha  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- 


	5. Chapter 5, Flying Lessons :part 1:

[a.n :: Alright I'll do a flying lesson since people want me to ^___^ lol this will be fun.]  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
// Chapter 5 [Flying Lessons -part 1-]  
  
  
  
S: Rubber Ducky you're the ooone  
  
R: You make bath time lots of fuuun  
  
H: Ron and Seamus, they are gaaay  
  
S: Harry..  
  
H: yes?  
  
S: see this broom?  
  
H: no..  
  
S: well it's goin up your ass  
  
*Seamus starts chasing Harry around the field*  
  
R: Hermione?  
  
HR: yes?  
  
R: let's elope  
  
HR: sure  
  
R: Really!  
  
HR: no  
  
H: hahahaha SEAMUS WILL NEVER GET ME  
  
N: I can't get off of the ground  
  
R: I think you're doing a good job Neville  
  
N: shut up Ron  
  
*Ron starts flying around looking like he doesn't know where he's going and flies right into Neville and knocks him over*  
  
R: hahahahahehehehe  
  
N: Oww my bum  
  
HR: I'll rub it for you  
  
N: okay!  
  
HR: if you get me butterbeer  
  
R: will you rub mine for porn?  
  
HR: sure!  
  
H: I have a broom in my bum  
  
S: ahee ahee ahee  
  
R: oh that's very attractive Harry  
  
F: Who is this?  
  
SM: I'M SAM  
  
F: Hi Sam!  
  
SM: Hi Mister Frodo  
  
S: what the hell?  
  
D: That's frodo and Sam from Lord of the Rings  
  
H: Draco get this through your head.. YOU ARE DEAD  
  
*draco covers his ears*  
  
D: I CAN'T HEAR YOU  
  
N: hahahaha  
  
H: that wasn't funny  
  
N: I know  
  
F: back to me and Sam  
  
SM: who in the hell are you guys?  
  
R: BLOODY HELL THIS CURLY HEADED MAN STOLE MY PAPER  
  
SM: Oh no where's mister Frodo! I want a kiss  
  
F: peeka boo!  
  
SM: YAY  
  
H: someone's a fag  
  
HR: some stupid fat hobbit stole my NOTE PAPER! I will shoot the thing  
  
*Hermione flies into Sam whom was hiding behind a mailbox*  
  
R: I think Hermione killed him  
  
H: hahahahahaha  
  
S: I could've sworn I saw a little man running around the field waving his arms in the air  
  
N: that was me  
  
S: Ohh  
  
H: Hey guys My-damn-Cooch wants us  
  
  
  
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[a.n :: I haf to stop writing because I must go to school.. I'll write more after school though ^___^] 


	6. Chapter 6, Flying Lessons :part 2:

[a.n :: Eee I hope I get some more reviews with this chapter!]  
  
  
  
// Chapter 6 [Flying lessons -part 2-]  
  
  
  
H: Well well well  
  
R: what did you do  
  
H: oh I was thinking of Hermione naked  
  
S: me too  
  
N: me three  
  
HR: hmm I was thinking about Malfoy naked  
  
D: I'm looking at Malfoy naked  
  
HR: Really?  
  
N: I thought Draco was dead?  
  
H: Brilliant observation Neville!  
  
S: I wanna see him naked!!  
  
R: Draco?  
  
D: yes?  
  
R: can I turn you into a ferret?  
  
D: *squeek squeek*  
  
H: Bravo my little sheep  
  
R: baa baa  
  
S: brilliant harry, you turned Ron into a sheep  
  
R: hehe I'm just kiddin  
  
N: Hey those two guys are flying away in a hot air balloon  
  
*everyone waves frodo and sam off*  
  
S: that sam guy was cute  
  
R: Seamus are you gay?  
  
S: not that I know of  
  
*silence*  
  
S: What!! I'm not gay, c'mon Ronniekins!  
  
H: I'M KING OF THE WOOOOORLD!  
  
HR: omg Harry get off of the North tower you're going to fall and- well I'm a bit late..  
  
*5 minutes later*  
  
H: guess who's back?  
  
R: back again?  
  
N: Harry's back  
  
S: tell a friend  
  
HR: Hey hey, look at meeee  
  
*Hermione lifts up her shirt*  
  
*Harry flies into a pole*  
  
*ron has a heart attack*  
  
HR: hehehe just testing ya 


	7. Chapter 7, Potions yet again

author : hehe orlando bloom wants to lick my cheek  
  
audience person : really?  
  
author : maybe..  
  
audience person : that's what I thought  
  
  
  
[disclaimer :: I love him, I love him, I love him and where he goes I'll fallow, I'll fallow, I'll fallow, sorry anyways J.K.R. own my precious baby [no not orlando bloom] but she owns HP!! Oh and the song I just sang is owned by uhm, the movie Sister Act! Lol that's a good movie ya know]  
  
  
  
// Chapter 7 [class : potions again]  
  
  
  
R: The sheep will get you Harry  
  
H: really? Awsome  
  
S: got any porn?  
  
HR: Porn? where?  
  
H: in my pants hermione  
  
HR: can I have it?  
  
H: sure *pulls down pants*  
  
HR: how pretty!  
  
N: That's odd  
  
*silence*  
  
N: I love you Hermione  
  
H: would you like for me to beat your arse neville?  
  
S: I love her more  
  
R: I love her most  
  
H: Teletubbies will attack you in your sleep  
  
*Hermione leaves class to get her book she left in her dorm*  
  
H: BLOODY HELL WHY IS SHE SITTING BY THAT CUNT SNIFFER??!  
  
S: cool down you possessed grasshopper  
  
H: NEVER! *looks like he's gone insane*  
  
S: ron I heard you and Hermy broke up  
  
H: *grin* is this true ronniekins?  
  
R: maybe.. probably.. most likely...  
  
H: YAY!  
  
N: what did you say about teletubbies? *dies*  
  
S: oh gosh Neville died  
  
R: the sheep got him  
  
D: oh so I'm a cunt sniffer?  
  
H: yes ma'am  
  
R: "My name is Draco Malfoy, and I like to drink from the toilet."  
  
S: ahee ahee ahee  
  
*neville resurrects*  
  
N: the green teletubby ate me  
  
R: that's nice  
  
H: Malfoy why are you sitting by Herm?  
  
D: because after class we're having sex  
  
R: oh really?  
  
*A speeding dinner roll hits Draco in the head*  
  
R: wonder who did that *looks around everywhere a whole lot*  
  
S: it wasn't me  
  
H: no way seamus  
  
D: That was a roll wasn't it?  
  
R: dear god no! who'd ever throw a roll at you!?  
  
H: no shit malfoy.  
  
*hermione finally comes back*  
  
HR: wonder what all I've missed!  
  
*3 mins. later*  
  
HR: you all have problems..  
  
S: can I feel your boob?  
  
N: No way these babies belong to me!  
  
S: NOT YOU DR.TELETUBBY!  
  
N: AHH THAT WORD *dies*  
  
H: great seamus, you killed neville  
  
R: blasted teletubbies  
  
D: good class is over!  
  
H: you have sex with her and you die malfoy  
  
*neville pops back to life*  
  
N: beware.. the candy canes with alcohol problems are everywhere.  
  
R: damn them drunken candy canes  
  
  
  
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what's going on with hermione and draco? Why did she dump ron? Will her and draco really have sex? Will the teletubbies attack Neville in his sleep?  
  
Find out next time on *dun dun DUN* passing notes! *has a stroke* o_O -twitch- 


End file.
